The other day, my phone decided to pop up a memory. It was taken a number of years ago, when I was pregnant with my son and reading through the final draft of my debut novel, Gods of Avalon Road. I always print the final drafts as a proof copy using Lulu, as I find book form easier to read than an e-copy on my laptop. You can see the photo here, on the left.
Anyway, the photo inspired today’s topic: how do children affect writing time? A trip down memory lane got me thinking about how I have managed to make time for writing with a youngster and minimal child support. It isn’t easy when you have a dependent, but it isn’t impossible either. I’d like to share my experience with you, and offer tips to help – whether you’re a parent, or considering becoming one – writing and children can coexist quite harmoniously; believe it or not!
Before kids
I was quite a prolific writer before my son came along. I was busy submitting my poetry and stories to magazines and anthologies in the UK, US and elsewhere worldwide. While doing this I was also drafting Gods of Avalon Road, which became my debut novel. In addition to all this, I set up Bindweed Magazine, helping other authors and poets have a platform for their work and I was running creative writing workshops for secondary school pupils at Battersea Park School in South London and Sacred Heart High School in West London as part of my day job in education. I was able to regularly attend literary events, such as the Free Verse Fair in London, participate at Book festivals such as the Hammersmith and Fulham Arts fest, and read my work at the Poetry Cafe in London. Busy, busy, busy!
During pregnancy
The balance of my writing changed while I was pregnant. Physical events moved more towards online events: Bindweed stopped being a quarterly print magazine and became an ezine; literary events and open mic nights shifted more towards online submissions to publishers and I kept chipping away at the final draft of God of Avalon Road. So, while the balance of my writing changed, the overall output remained similar to before. I was still writing regularly – and my large bump provided a handy reading stand and writing desk, hurray!
Maternity leave
Things admittedly slowed while I had a newborn to look after and the sleepless nights caused massive baby-brain. I didn’t get much done during this time, apart from keeping Bindweed Online running with the help of multiple notifications on my phone and sticky-note reminders on my laptop, as well as submitting the finished manuscript of Gods of Avalon Road to publishers. Whew! Notebooks became my friend at this time and my laptop gathered dust for a while.
Balancing writing and childcare
My son was still little when Gods of Avalon Road was finally published and he slept in his buggy while I attended the book launch and signing event of my debut novel at Waterstones Belfast. My maternity leave also ended, and with my son in childcare, I was able to focus on my writing at lunchtimes and after work; in this way I made steady progress on my second novel, The Buddha’s Bone. I also bought a small, lightweight tablet and wireless keyboard which could fit in my handbag; useful for a busy mum on the go.
My son started school at a time when I was about to set up my own literary imprint, and I also bought myself a new laptop with more RAM to accommodate my author business needs. Now that he is older and more independent, I feel that my writing time is finally back to how it was before having a child.
My advice to those juggling writing and parenting, or writers thinking of starting a family – or simply busy people!
As with anything in life, if you are passionate about something, you’ll make time to do it. The emphasis here is on making time, not finding time. I’ve spoken to many a would-be writer, parent or otherwise, who has said, “Oh, I’d love to write if I could only find the time”. My advice is to make the time. Whether you are a parent or otherwise, make writing a priority. Grab a few minutes – even five minutes here and there – and crank out a few sentences of your work in progress. A few words, or sentences, every day will keep the ideas fresh in your mind. I find that if I go for longer than, say, a week and a half without chipping away at a draft, I lose the thread and have to re-read back through what I’ve already written in order to continue.
Practical tips for writing with children at different life stages (these tips helped me!):
Baby stage =
Jot down ideas in a notebook while your baby is napping (that is, of course, if you aren’t asleep yourself!) and write these up later when you can.
Don’t worry too much about being productive – you have other priorities.
Toddler stage =
Similar to the baby stage above. If your child is at childcare and you are back to your dayjob, try to write for even a few minutes on your lunch break. Little and often…both writing and coffee!
Carrying a tablet with a wireless keyboard also helped me at this stage, rather than taking my expensive laptop around with me. That way, I could write on the go, and fit it in the nappy bag too.
The takeaway?
Adding children into the mix shouldn’t stop you from writing. If I could count the number of times over the years when people have said to me, “How do you get so many books out there and you have a little one?” I think the honest answer there is I make it happen, because it’s important to me. Not to the point where I neglect family time with my husband and child, but writing is a close second.
Good luck with your writing too, literary child-wrangler!
Leilanie Stewart 