Is having haters a sign of success?

Recently an old friend of mine lamented on Facebook that if people want to say things about her, they should say any such comments to her face. For reference, my friend is quite a successful singer, as part of a touring duo in the UK and Ireland. After offering reassuring advice, I then took a moment to reflect on her post, as it got me thinking: is having haters a sign of success?

Now, nobody wants haters. Who wants to be harassed by trolls, whether they are people you may know in real life, or anonymous, online ‘keyboard warriors’? Wouldn’t we all like to be loved? Few would say no. Yet, life doesn’t work that way.

Dealing with haters merits the same kind of thick skin that dealing with a psychic vampire requires. These types have nothing good to offer, and with no real accomplishments of their own to show the world, seek to attack others and bring them down to make themselves (the haters) feel better.

I’m no stranger to haters myself, having incurred the wrath of a few sad sacks online earlier this year, who harassed me after I appeared at a public author event. Anyone who has had a run-in with haters can relate to how frustrating it is to be on the receiving end of abuse. So, let’s break down what it means if you become unlucky enough to cross paths with nasty trolls:

Haters come hand in hand with visibility

If your business, whether that is writing as in my case, singing in the case of my friend, or whatever else it may be – happens to step out of the shadows into the light, it is just as likely to attract haters as it is to attract fans. Nobody is universally popular. Bear in mind that good can be gleaned from any situation, however negative; having haters is a sign that your business is doing well – they wouldn’t be there in the first place if you hadn’t elevated your platform and received adequate visibility. Having haters is a sign of success.

If you’re pushing buttons, you’re making a statement

In any walk of life, if something is safe and ordinary, it usually won’t attract wrath. Haters abuse people/ products that get under their skin. Take reviews for example. Ever noticed that people tend to rate products, or services, that leave an impression – whether it’s a 5 star review for something that blew them away, or a 1 star bomb for something that they hated so much they just had to share with the world how angry it made them. Rest assured that if your book/product/service, with mostly good reviews receives a few on the other end of the spectrum, then you have sufficiently made an impression to elicit such a negative response. Responses, whether good or bad, is believe it or not, a positive sign. The worst response is… *crickets*

Troll comments say more about the haters who post them than the one on the receiving end

So, you’ve been spammed by trolls. They seem to be mad at the world – but for now, you’re the target of their abuse. The vitriol is seemingly endless. Is there ‘method behind the madness’ of these comments?

Nope. My advice is not to dwell on mindless comments by haters who are. Are what? Jealous of your success? Angry at their own failings? Angry at the world? Maybe all of the above? It’s not your fault – and it’s not your problem. As much as it’s irksome – as irksome as a persistent wasp trying to sting you – they are the ones with the issue, not you. Keep on being awesome and doing what you’re doing – because you’re clearly doing it right!

Just remember – don’t reach out!

Haters aren’t rational human beings. Just like the Terminator, they can’t be reasoned with, or bargained with – and they absolutely will not stop. Don’t waste your time thinking that an emotional appeal will reach through and they will show compassion after all. They have no empathy and wish only ill will to you. Do yourself a favour and don’t engage with them.